The Loneliest Time Of TheYear

                Something about the flickering colorful lights, the cold breeze of lovely December nights, gearing from excitement to gloom, and all the Christmas songs ranging from rocking the jingle bells, to waiting for Santa to come to town, to giving your heart at Christmas then have it given away the next day, or Taylor's highly depressing song about Christmases when you were mine. 

 

               Even if we have the perfect family to spend the yuletide seasons with, laughing over an exhilarating table of goods, or a wonderful set of friends to have annual Kris Kringles and wasting away the night over bottles of booze and excellent chitchats, let's openly admit, Christmas is also a time when longings surges like waves, and the sad part is, all those waves will never crash the shore. 

             It's a time where we fondly reflect on our love and misadventures within the year, of countless people who come and go, of friends you gained and friends you lost. It's that year end celebration slash memory collector of the year's beautiful mishaps, shortcomings that are okay, our proud achievements and endless memories consisting of pain and joy which we relive, and later realize it has been another long, wonderful part of another chapter of our lives that's about to close, and somehow, someway, it gives us a little gloom. 

              Christmas is that time when we unconsciously think about the boy who we almost, almost gave our hearts, or the one wonderful girl that got away because you screwed big time, or the friends who moved extra long distance, or the strangers that started a different kind of flame burning within us. And maybe it's all now fragments of our memory but it conveys feelings of sadness every now and then. It's that time of the year we realize that some people will only remain a part of the current year and will no longer move on with you through your next journey, also that time of the year we realize we have pile of regrets and wishful thinking that we should've took the risks, but now it's a little too late. And I don't know with you, but I don't realize these things at Halloween or Valentine's day or any other occasions midyear. 

         

     And if you haven't notice it yet, I think the very reason why we get lonely at this time of the year is that we look back, we always look back. We were never engineered to just look forward, we are humans tempted to dwell on our past, and looking back hurts, looking back at what we never could have again is painful and lonely, but it is in looking back that urge us to keep going forward, to open another chapter of our lives, to create new memories and meet new people that hopefully will stay, permanently. Tomorrow is hope.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas (: