I AM FOREVER CHANGED|ALL THE BRIGHT PLACES TAKEAWAYS

All The Bright Places written by Jennifer Niven, follows Theodore Finch, (I'd like to deem him the hero of this novel) a troubled boy on his senior year in High School, with rather constant suicidal thoughts. His human dimensions does not conventionally fit into the mold, neither his mind. I'd like to say it's wired differently and it makes him altogether compelling, cunning, dark and lovely. Each day he wakes up to a question long dwelling in his mind, "Is today a good day to die?" to which he weighs down all factors present and deliberately assess the day at hand, until came Violet. 

Violet, I'd like to say, is an integral part of Theodore Finch, just like Finch is an integral part of her. She's that tiny beacon of hope that kept Finch in the world for a relatively long time than he's supposed to. Violet comes off as a typical teenage girl on the surface. On the inside, she's deeply troubled by the death of her sister and is struggling to find her way back into the circulation. Consumed with thoughts, or probably the lack thereof, Violet found herself on the edge of a bell tower, where our hero, Finch, happily saved her.

"Is today a good day to die?" Finch decided that it is not, because out of the blue, Violet is finally in his life.

Jennifer Niven pens down the entire novel with a sense of artistic value beyond comparison. She puts herself and experiences vulnerable into the book and made her readers grasp a unique understanding of the dark struggles lurking around people clinically diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Some would perceive the book as a material romanticizing suicide. On the contrary, it is not. It actually sheds light into the reality of teenagers susceptible to depression further illuminating the factors causing it. Family, social and personal apects are large factors that place teenagers into the inevitable. While some teenagers may take these matters easy to overcome, the plight for others may not be as pleasant. And this is something we need to fully understand and to have a wide acceptance that not everybody operates with the same coping mechanism. Every experience is unique to individuals and the inability to cope for some is not a laughingstock. 

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There's a great deal of Virginia Woolfe incorporated into this book which I found utterly wonderful considering the extent of Woolfe's extraordinary content and how it perfectly fits the exchange of words between our lead characters suited to their ordeals. 

"I feel a thousand capacities spring up in me, I am arch, gay, languid, melancholy by turns, I am rooted but I flow"

The very core of the novel that sparks a change in me was when our hero, Finch, was found dead in the Blue Hole. Now whether he committed suicide or accidentally drowned trying to find whatever it is he's looking for at the bottom of the lake is a question only Jennifer Niven and Finch himself can shed light. I was actually hoping for a Finch POV at the end of the novel to give light on what really transpired on that faithful day of his demise. But the novel is lovely as it is and there are questions that are better left unanswered.

I placed this particular photo of mine since I felt a strikingly similar sensation to that of Finch's Blue Hole perusing this image. 

It made me pondered on the many feelings that Violet went through upon seeing the dead body of Finch. What would one feel? A crippling sadness? A sudden rush of fury? A feeling of inadequacy? Here, you'll feel a sharp pain when you realize that no matter how you make someone happy and feel loved, somehow it would not be enough for someone to stay, or live for this matter. And no matter how much someone finds love and inspiration in you, it might not be enough to fill the gaps of their black holes when they are also actively fighting their inner struggles. It's a hauntingly beautiful reality, to not be enough. But one needs to know that in spite of, it's not your fault. It's not your fault when you can't make someone stay. It's not your fault when you went against all odds to make someone want to live and it's not enough. And neither is it their fault. The only thing you can do is to be there for them and show profound acceptance

Through the entire ordeal that changed Violet forever, it also shaped her to live and move on. And it's lovely.

Favorite Quotes From All The Bright Places

"You are all the colors in one, at full brightness"

"I am in pieces"

"The thing I realize is, that it's not what you take, it's what you leave"

"Stars in the sky, stars on the ground. It's hard to tell where the sky ends and the Earth begins"

"You make me lovely. And it's so lovely to be lovely to the one I love"

"The great thing about this life of ours is that you can be someone different to everybody" 

"Because it's not a lie if its how you feel"

"When you consider things like the stars, our affairs don't seem to matter very much, do they?"

"We are all written in paint. I believe in signs. The glow of ultraviolet. A lake. A prayer. It's so lovely to be lovely in private"